Discontent.
August 25, 2008 11:11 a.m.
Today has dragged on. Typical I’m sure for someone just returning from a much needed vacation but I feel like something is missing today. I don’t feel whole. I feel scattered and not all here. My mind is wandering as it has been these past several weeks. The “What If’s” continue to scare me. I can’t sleep at night… I wake up at least 3 times during the night, sometimes I wake up cold and discontent, sometimes I wake up hot and thirsty.
I haven’t had a goodnights sleep in some time now. It is definitely taking a toll on my body, my perception of sleep and awake is walking a very thin line. I feel…. Zombiefied, that’s not even a word, but the sentiment is still the same, I don’t want to continue to just “exist”. I want more.
I’m sorry if my words seem incoherent, it probably has a lot to do with my recent state of mind.