Fading.
September 11, 2003 9:53 p.m.
Okay here we GO!
When you don't know where you're going in life, when everything seems to be falling apart, when life just keeps kicking you down, when everyone seems to not care, when the silence becomes pleasurable, when pain is numb, when you reach for hand that is not there, when you doubt yourself, when every road is a dead end, when you fall into that never ending whole, when you do not want to wake up, when everyone looks the otherway, when you start to leave... that is when I fade.
[next time]
He doesn't know when I look at him. He doesn't know I care. He is everything I wanted. I wish I could make him see me. I wish he looked at me the way I look at him. He is beautiful.