Everything To Everyone.
November 30, 2002 4:00 p.m.
"Everything To Everyone"
You put yourself in stupid places
Yes I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim almost every single day
You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone.--Everclear
I
sit here jamming out to my music, and Everclear came on my playlist. I
forgot I had even downloaded that song. But it�s the first time I
actually took the time to listen to the lyrics of �Everything to
Everyone�. It reminded me of a time I don�t like to think about. Before
my supposed �suicide attempt�. Never try to kill yourself on pills, it
really sucks, and it�s slow. I regret ever trying to off myself now. It
was a very selfish thing for me to do. I was a confused individual�not
that I have it all figured out now, but I do think more of the
consequences of my actions, and I know more now, then what I knew three
years ago. Hopefully everyone knows more know then they knew three
years ago. (Trailing off the beaten path) Music affects my life, the
way I think, what I say, on so many levels. If it weren�t for the
music, I�d be a lot more lost then I am now. My music is a way for me
to vent frustrations, sadness, and confusion, anything that I otherwise
couldn�t deal with on my own.
Am I the only one out here in
diaryland that feels this way? Maybe I�m still in that goofy teenage
stage or something? My thoughts are so tangled together, so tangled
that often I contradict what I say. So pay no attention to me when I
ramble, Lol. Talking in circles is a habit of mine. Not one that I�m
very fond of either. Bah! Everyone has their flaws�I just see mine more
clearly then most�even flaws that usually don�t bother others. But
anyways I clearly got off the subject I originally began with. Oh well,
nothing really to say about Everclear�pretty good band�good lyrics and
what not.
Anyhow, I tried to hook my scanner up so I can
change some older pictures with newer ones on my website, but our
computer doesn�t want to recognize that I have the scanner hooked up, I
have the UB cable in and everything, but let�s face it, my computer is
ghettoized. I�ve been stuck at home all day; I knew I should�ve just
stayed sleeping this morning. But I needed to get outside, I felt like
such a hermit. So I walked up to my old work and aired up my bike tires
and went biking, which did my cold no justice. But that was the extent
of my day. Went outside and biked, and stayed the rest of the freezing
cold morning inside. The myth of Florida is not true, it�s not always
warm, it was 36 degrees outside this morning, which is only 2 degrees
higher then Detroit (where I am originally from) was today. Florida is
the worst state I�ve ever lived in. Where else has �hurricane season�,
�Palmetto bug season�, Sink Holes, the West Nile Mosquito seeking
revenge, and �love-bug�s� (love-bugs were created at FSU some years
back to eat mosquito�s because our mosquitoes were out of control, but
the mosquitoes were too acidy and the love-bugs wouldn�t eat them, so
lucky us have both pesky insects now), I mean don�t get me wrong
Florida does have it�s perks but more cons then pros. So I�m advising
everyone I know not to come to Florida, it�s not much to write home
about. Well I�ll finish this entry later, I�m being rushed out the
door, it turns out my night wont be just sitting at home. =)